When, in the course of the LGBTQ movement, it becomes necessary for our people to break away from the political parties which have long since suppressed us (cough, Republicans, cough), harnessing the powers of equality and acceptance in the endeavor to overcome our separate and unequal station from which the laws of President Obama and his administration attempt to free us, a decent respect to the opinions of others requires that we should declare the causes which impel us to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men, women, gays, bisexuals, lesbians, transmen, transwomen, queer persons, and persons with or without a declared sexuality or presented gender, are created equal, that these individuals are empowered by their own sense of self with certain unalienable rights, that among these are gender expression, sexual identity, and the pursuit of marriage, not just same sex partner benefits. Unfortunately, to secure these rights, our government has long since been instituted by straight, privileged white men, many of whom believe they have the right to tell a woman what to do with her body, extending basic human rights to corporations like Hobby Lobby. We are the people. Not corporations.
We, therefore, as acting members of the LGBTQ movement, in general consensus, many assembled, many appealing to the Supreme Court, our legislative officials, and the straight majority at large, do, in the name of equality, social justice, and on the authority of freedom and liberty for all, solemnly publish and declare, that these united LGBTQ persons are, and of right ought to be, free and independent people, absolved from the social injustice and political powers which bind us into a second class citizenship; that these united LGBTQ persons conclude peace, marriage, and all other acts and things which our heterosexual counterparts have the right to do—and for the support of this declaration, with a firm belief in future progress, we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our families, our fortunes, and our honor.