Who among us hasn’t wished for a space as queer and as welcoming as The Planet or Liberty Diner—somewhere queer and safe to spend a few hours enjoying our friends? It may feel like queer-centric neighborhood hangouts are just an invention for our favorite television shows, but for residents of Alexandria, Virginia this dream may soon be reality.
Creating the Vision
Friends of Dorothy is the brainchild of Dorothy Edwards, a queer mom and seasoned community builder intent on opening a safe space for queer folks of all ages. The name is a nod not only to Edwards’ own, but also to a queer code for identifying fellow LGBTQ+ people out in the world. It’s a perfect fit for what she’s creating. “The vision is that Friends of Dorothy will be all queer and trans centered all the time,” she says.
Edwards means it: Friends of Dorothy will be a community space from top to bottom. “I’m totally committed to using queer and trans-owned vendors and suppliers for all of my stuff. I’m also working on a little marketplace of merchandise from local queer and trans makers that will be a permanent fixture in the cafe,” she explains. Even the decor will amplify the talents of her community. “I’m also thinking about a monthly rotating exhibit for local queer and trans artists,” she says. Additionally, Friends of Dorothy will serve as a community space for support groups and community organizations who currently struggle with finding a place to meet.
How it began
The idea for the cafe came when Edwards noticed something missing in Northern Virginia. After the birth of her son almost two years ago, she and her wife began a queer moms social group. “There were a lot of mom groups and a lot of lesbian, sapphic, or queer groups, but there wasn’t a lot of crossover,” she says. Moms quickly joined the group, with some even driving an hour one-way to attend. The group does more than offer community to queer moms—it ensures their kids have community too. “I have two moms. And when I was growing up, I was the only kid with two moms in my vicinity,” Edwards shares.
With the group created, members quickly discovered that there weren’t a lot of queer-centric spaces they could go. “You’ve got to get a babysitter and go to a bar if you want to be in [queer] community. I’m a fan of those places. They’re life-saving places, and we need them, but I’ve got a two-year-old at home. That’s not my life anymore,” Edwards explains. The lack of alcohol-free queer spaces also meant there were few places for sober folks and queer and trans youth to gather. It dawned on Edwards that a queer cafe could provide something vital to the entire community.
Building in community
The cafe exists as a pop-up right now, as Edwards continues to raise funds for a brick-and-mortar. She spreads word of Friends of Dorothy through social media and collaborative events. Queer folks and allies near and far have stepped up to help the cafe in whatever ways they can. “I have people reaching out through TikTok or Instagram saying, ‘I have this specific skill and I love what you’re doing. Let me know if you can use my skill,’” she says. These donations of time and knowledge from others who believe in Edwards’ vision are invaluable to a business in search of funding.
Most of the fundraising so far has been grassroots, proving that locals truly hunger for the type of community Friends of Dorothy promises. Recently, Edwards hosted the first big fundraiser for the cafe. “It was a drag show, silent auction, cocktail attire kind of night out. It went great,” she says. Support has also come in the form of donations to the cafe’s GoFundMe and mentorship from local business owners. “The most beautiful thing that I’m realizing and learning about my community in Alexandria is that the majority of the small business owners in this area have the mindset of a rising tide lifts all boats. I love that,” Edwards says.
Her next big goal is to put a founding board of directors in place so they can share Friends of Dorothy with large donors and philanthropists. “I think anyone who believes in belonging can see the need for a place like this,” Edwards says. There’s no question that belonging is harder to come by in this political climate. “My wife is non-binary, we have trans people in our community who are getting their passports expedited, and our kids are scared. Having a safe place feels so vital right now,” she says.
The knowledge that she holds an answer to her community’s challenges keeps Edwards going. “I can see myself running this Friends of Dorothy cafe for the rest of my life. There’s just no other way except to keep going forward and get it open,” she says.
With Edwards’ clear vision and unshakable dedication, it’s impossible not to root for Friends of Dorothy. Afterall, Dorothy Gale famously taught us that on our side of the rainbow, “The dreams that you dare to dream really do come true.”