By Diane Rosen
You know the routine. You’re meeting people for the first time. You say hi and nod. And then, the beautiful stranger who you just met asks you The Question: “What do you do?”
You don’t have a quick-and-easy answer because nowadays, you’re retired, and you don’t have a job title with a company like you did when you worked for a living. You do things, but now, they’re just not associated with a full-time job. You do whatever you want to do, whenever you want to do it.
I have struggled with this awkward social situation quite a few times. Somehow, saying that I was retired sounded to me like I was finishing up with my life. Whatever I was doing (painting abstract expressionist art, creating and selling tie-dyed T-shirts, or just blogging) seemed like arts-and-crafts classes or another creative hobby for people with too much time on their hands. It wasn’t real work, which was something I often missed.
Like most lesbians, I have worked most of my adult life. We lesbians are doers. We work hard at our jobs and take pride in our accomplishments. This is especially true here in Washington, D.C. Also, as lesbians, we have built an active and politically savvy community. We are definitely doers.
Consequently, for networking, friendships, or romantic reasons, it’s important to know what each other does.
So what do we retired lesbians do? Some of us continue working at encore careers or just part time for additional income. Some do volunteer work in a variety of venues. Some pursue creative hobbies. Some engage in social activities, such as exercise and bridge classes at a local center for senior citizens. Others participate in civic activities in local government. And, many retirees also get involved in the lesbian community.
There are many things to do as a lesbian retiree in our community. The activities run from square dancing to attending luncheons for singles. When I didn’t find something I liked, I created my own groups and activities, like the Over 4T Museum Group and, more recently, the Over 4T Dinner/Brunch Group. In this community, people are always creating and organizing another group or activity. And, most of these groups and activities focus on fun, which is perfect for retirees.
Retirement isn’t the end of activity. It’s just a time of self-directed activity. It can be challenging to set your own course. And, staying social and active presents its own issues. But for most of us, retirement is our time to have fun and do whatever we want.
So, the next time someone says they’re retired, ask them what they do for fun. It’s sometimes even more interesting and revealing than just asking them what they do.
And, by the way, I’m not struggling anymore with answering the question, “What do you do?” I’ve taken to blogging about what I’m doing. My blog—Forgetful After Fifty—answers that question and a whole lot more about my life. And, I’ve kept my blog funny because I’ve decided that life as a retiree is worth a lot of laughs and some great adventures, too.
Photo by Lynn Willis
