By Erika Star
After Ellen
Christmas is a magical time of year. That is unless you’re single, then it’s an freaking fantastic free-for-all filled with a million different versions of the forever creepy “Baby It’s Cold Outside” and being bombarded with the idea that the holiday requires a significant other. NOT TRUE! Truth is, Christmas is one of the most popular times of year to unload that pesky relationship, second only to spring break obvi. So go ahead and sing both parts of that duet, drink the nog right from the carton and settle in for your gazillionth Love Actually viewing, you’re in good company. If you don’t believe me, Kate Nash has got your number.
One Christmas > Four Christmases
When there’re two people, numerous family gatherings and in-laws to appease, the Holidays can start to feel like more like a chore than a celebration of loved ones. With only you, you get to choose who and where you spend your Christmas. It also makes it easier to avoid judgmental in-laws and that crazy aunt who always offers Bible versus as presents. You can’t wrap that! As if.
There’s no one to impress
It may just be me, but I’ve had at least one girlfriend disapprove of my leopard print life choices. Once I got rid of her, I learned to thoroughly enjoy and appreciate upping the ante on wearing whatever I want! Being single around the holidays allows you that same luxury tenfold in that you can wear ALL of the shiny, dangly, holiday encrusted outfits, or, stretchy pants. This flexibility also allows you to flaunt it as you so choose, wherever and with whomever you want. Basically what I’m saying is, FREEDOM, and yes I will take some more pie.
Mingling, flirting and mistletoe, OH MY
With the holidays comes holiday parties and, if you’re lucky, alcohol, the office hottie and mistletoe. Whether you decide to make some questionable life choices at your own work party, or as a wingman to a friend somewhere more discreet, you are fully able to bat your eyes any direction you’d like. And finally have that random mistletoe moment seen in every rom-com since ever.
No sharing of Christmas cookies, ever
Sure, sharing is caring but you’re newly single! Or, you know, single and all those cookies are yours for the hoarding. While I feel this is more of a year-round rule, without a partner around the holidays you are not required to share your holiday snacks. Whether it says family-sized on the bag or is addressed to your entire household, it’s cold and in the absence of another, an extra layer of gingerbread is now required to keep you warm.
Put on less holiday weight
Oddly enough, even if you decide not to share your cookies, it’s likely that you’ll put on far less weight not having a significant other. Seems people in relationships put on those happily in love pounds. So, I assume, you won’t have that problem. Seeing that you’re too busy running around meeting all the new ladies. Casually, of course.
Avoiding awkward family situations
Personally, I’ve never had to answer the tired question about getting married or having children but I’ve heard that family members like to put the pressure on around the holidays. And while being single won’t save you from someone telling you that the right man is still out there, you are freely able to sob openly to make them feel guilty without having to worry about embarrassing your girlfriend.
And finally, you get the gift of SINGLEDOM for Christmas
Being alone is way better than being in a terrible relationship. Instead of mourning the loss of whatever failed relationship you just got out of, be glad you’re not wasting any more time on the wrong person! Here’s to fresh starts and ringing in the New Year with someone totally worthy of your love: YOU. And, bonus, you can kiss whomever you’d like to at the strike of midnight, even if it is your dog.
