Femme Problems 108: Fighting the Urge to U-Haul

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Edie Windsor
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December 11, 2013

Femme Problems 108: Fighting the Urge to U-Haul

An African-American woman lifts a cardboard box

There are very few feelings in this world that can compare to two women falling in love. It’s like fate zaps us with a lightening bolt and shocks our souls. Our once broken hearts have since been jump-started and now we find ourselves pressing the pedal, heading full speed down the road to love in our U-Haul. Destination: forever.

I don’t know about you, but I have kissed so many toads before finding the girl of my dreams. Now that I have found my princess charming, my biological clock is ticking at dangerously rapid rates and suddenly, I’m not so jealous of those pesky Disney princesses anymore.

The U-Haul is to us lesbians what the pumpkin carriage was to Cinderella. No one can deny that the beginning of a lesbian relationship is full of power and wonder: a whole new world, new lover, and new sights to explore. Talk about a magic carpet ride.

However far and fast we may fall, when the clock strikes midnight, how sure can any of us be that our princess charming isn’t going to turn into a total pumpkin?

My girlfriend and I recently celebrated our one-month anniversary, which is what, six months according to the lesbian calendar? It’s only been 30 days, and I’m already day dreaming about where we’re going to live, which one of us will transfer jobs, and who will carry our first child.

While I do think she is the perfect girl for me, I also realize I have to shake some sense into my head. I have to fight the urge to U-Haul.

Time is both the enemy and the ally of any relationship. They say the more time you spend with your significant other, the more you get to know the “real her”. I know I need to wait a respectable amount of time before sharing the same underwear drawer, but I’m having an issue getting through these lonely weeknights without her.

I love lying on the couch with her in my arms, staring into her hazel eyes, and kissing her perfectly pale cheeks. When I’m home watching the same episode of Grey’s Anatomy at the same time she is at her own home, I can’t help feeling like my rent money would be better spent on our child’s college education. Just think of how much we’d save if we were paying the same cable bill.

But the dangers of U-Hauling are just as real as the pleasures of the first kiss, first Christmas, or first anniversary. My girlfriend and I know this. And it is for this reason we have decided to instill the six month rule: we will wait at least six months before proposing, moving in, or otherwise making any significant life changes.

And why? Because I think most people just U-Haul out of fear; fear of loneliness, fear of the future, or fear that we aren’t where we’re supposed to be at our age. Well, I refuse make hasty decisions out of fear or lust. Let fate and free will have their way.

Still, I have seen a few of my friends U-Haul successfully. Six months after their hasty marriages and newly decorated apartments, they are still together, still happy. So, why can’t that be me? Why can’t my forever start today?

Because I know my girlfriend is the one. Even though I didn’t rent a U-Haul on the second date, I know our love is just as much of a fairy tale as all the other love stories queer women are out there writing today. I am confident that the house, family, and forever will come, and when they do, we will be ready.

 

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