Evelyn Champagne King & Thea Austin Bring Old-School Jams to The Dinah
January 16, 2014
Cheryl Clarke
Living as a Lesbian
January 16, 2014

Femme Problems 112: Perspectives on the New Year

Resolutions to both keep and share

It’s a new year, and for us femmes, it’s also an opportunity to form new relationships, break bad habits, and rejuvenate our hearts and minds. Whether you’re newly single or on the fast track headed down marriage lane, here are five resolutions that can benefit everyone.


1. Put your phone down at dinner.

OK girls. It’s a new year and a new you, which means new dates! Give a chance to the girl who’s been dying to take you out. And, when she does, be respectful and put your phone away at the dinner table. Facebook will still be there in the morning.

I have a new rule for myself in 2014: I have resolved that as my girlfriend and I continue to enjoy exquisite and fun-filled dinner dates, I will use my iPhone only to snap a quick pic of our immaculately prepared meals or sweet desserts for Instagram—then instantly put it away.


2. Cut your ex out of your life—for good.

I know that it’s hard, but if you’re going through a bad breakup, resolve to leave your ex in 2013. Not every relationship has to end this way, but if someone is detrimental to your emotional or physical health, then it’s best to pack up all that baggage and leave it in the past.

I once made a list of all of the reasons why I had to let my ex go. Every time I had the inkling to text, call, or e-mail her, I simply looked at the list and remembered my resolution. It worked: A year later, I’ve found health, happiness, and resolve.


3. Leave the lesbian love nest at least twice a month.

If you’ve been happily partnered for months or even years, resolve to reinvest in your social life. The D.C. lesbian community is as strong and diverse as ever. From wine tastings to happy hours to ladies events at Cobalt and Phase 1, there is something going on for everyone.

As I gracefully enter my late 20s, I realize that most of my friends, like myself, are partnering up and settling down. But that doesn’t mean we have to pull the plug on our social interactions. Every other weekend, I find a fun social event, grab my girlfriend, and invite our friends. Having that balance has rejuvenated my personality and allowed me to maintain my identity within my relationship.


4. Support your lesbian community.

You are smart, strong, and successful. You have it all. So what comes next for you in 2014? Find an LGBT organization or charity that speaks to your special interest and start giving back.

There are so many opportunities to contribute to our women’s community. SMYAL Allies is a new program that invites young professionals to give a monthly gift in support of LGBTQ youth in the District. HRC is always accepting monthly or yearly contributions, as well. With the Mautner Gala and Her HRC events coming up, this is the perfect time to resolve to give back.


5. Be a more conscientious consumer.

You already know that the individuals, businesses, and organizations advertising in Tagg support our community. Can you say the same about some of your other favorite shopping venues and restaurants?

Resolve to do some research, to avoid funding big corporations that ruin our environment and stunt social progress. Being a conscientious consumer encourages political and social action, both staples of our democratic society.


The New Year is a time for self-reflection. It’s a time to look in the mirror, congratulate yourself on your accomplishments in 2013, and remind yourself to set new goals and keep on going.

Have a safe, healthy, and happy 2014!


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