Feeling the Holiday Blues? Here’s How to Tackle Your Loneliness

For many, the holidays are filled with parties, events, and many intentional moments. If this isn’t the case for you, you’re not alone. Many LGBTQIA+ people have experienced rejection of their identities by families, friends, and other significant relationships. The holiday season might be a time where the loss of those connections can feel more present than usual.

When I think about moments where I may be the “only” person who identifies the way I do in a room, I am reminded of the many LGBTQIA+ Hinge daters and people I’ve worked with in therapy over the years. I hear our collective stories and I am reminded that I am a part of a world full of queer people going home for the holidays. I remember that my authenticity matters to someone elsewhere in the world who just wants to know that they are loved and they matter. Never forget that your authenticity matters.

Just because most people are not talking about loneliness does not mean they are not experiencing it – it’s a universal experience. Only a third of young adults socialize with others daily. Feelings of loneliness can feel more intense during the holiday season. There is often a stark difference between the expectation of how the holiday season should be, and how the holidays actually are. Overcoming embarrassment or fear around loneliness can be challenging, but immensely rewarding—here’s how to let go:

• Acknowledge and accept your feelings. It’s important to first acknowledge and accept your feelings of embarrassment or fear around loneliness. Trying to suppress or ignore these emotions will only amplify them. Instead, allow yourself to feel these emotions without judgment.
• Reframe your perspective. Loneliness is often perceived as a negative experience, but it’s important to reframe your perspective. Loneliness can be an opportunity for self-discovery, personal growth, and developing a deeper connection with yourself.
• Engage in activities you enjoy. Spending time doing things you enjoy can boost your mood, increase self-confidence, and reduce feelings of loneliness. Pursue hobbies, interests, and activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.
• Connect with others. Take steps to connect with others, even if it’s just a small interaction. Adding one more hour of in-person connection will allow you to take note of the small moments that aid your sense of community. Join a club, volunteer, attend a community event, or invest just one more hour in checking in on those closest to you.

This holiday season, pause and reflect on how you wish to foster connection, togetherness, belonging, or community in a meaningful way. No matter what your holiday plans look like, there is always a way to bring one more hour of connection into your life.