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Lesbian Relationships: The Pros and Cons of a Significant Age Difference

Older woman laughing with younger woman

The archaic attitudes that still pervade many areas of society continue to put unnecessary strain on long-term lesbian relationships. Add the issue of a large age difference to the mix, and the prejudice among sections of the general public can become almost intolerable. Nevertheless, inter-generational relationships between lesbians and queer women aren’t doomed to failure from the start — but they do present a range of pros and cons that should be considered at the very beginning of a blossoming partnership.


The Pros of a Significant Age Difference in a Lesbian Relationship

You Both Get to Broaden Your Horizons
By entering into a relationship with someone much older or younger than you, there is a very clear opportunity to broaden your outlook on life. Dating an older woman with the help of an online service such as Housewives69 will allow you to tap into a wealth of experience and be a variety of interesting and exciting tales to listen to. On the other hand, dating a much younger woman will help you to relive your youth and empathize with the younger generation.

You Don’t Settle
Faced with a raft of pre-existing prejudices in society, many lesbians will stick to partners of roughly the same age in an attempt to make their relationship a little more “socially acceptable” But in doing so, these women are settling for a partner with whom they don’t fully engage. Being open to dating significantly older or younger women will widen the field, and increase your chances of finding your soulmate.

You Can Enjoy Extended Social Circles
If you and your partner are from different generations, chances are you both socialize in very different circles. By dating someone with a completely different group of friends from your own, you can open up a new world of possibility. There will be the chance to do things you never imagined and mix with people who have a completely different outlook on life.

Financial Stability
Mature people have often learned some tough financial lessons throughout life. As a result, they have their financial affairs in order, and they can afford to enjoy the finer things in life. Not only can this be good for the day-to-day dynamics of a relationship, it can help the younger woman to improve her own affairs.

Chemistry Becomes the Single Most Important Factor
The social backlash to a large age gap within a relationship can often stop people from searching for the ideal partner. Take away the issue of age, and all that is left is compatibility. Who cares that your perfect girlfriend or future wife is 20 years your senior? If she makes you happy and shares your outlook on life, that should be all that matters.


The Cons of a Significant Age Difference in a Lesbian Relationship

You Will Need to Deal with Even More Judgment
It’s a sad fact that — even in today’s more enlightened, tolerant world — lesbians are judged and discriminated against. Those strange looks of shock or disapproval could double when you enter into an inter-generational relationship. Regardless of how strong you are, this is never a nice experience, and it can pile on additional strain to even the most solid of lesbian relationships. And in many cases, the worst of the judgment comes from family members. You will need a thick skin to get used to the additional prejudice you’ll face as a lesbian in an inter-generational relationship.

An Element of Personal Sacrifice Could Be Inevitable
Because you and your partner are at very different stages in your life, there will need to be some give and take in the path you choose. For instance, an older woman may not want to dance ‘til dawn every weekend at exclusive clubs. Similarly, the younger of you may not be ready to start saving for retirement. Either way, you will both need to make sacrifices in order to move forward.

Worrying About Ulterior Motives
If either of you are in any way insecure in your own skin, there is a chance there will be an element of suspicion in your relationship. For example, the younger woman in the relationship may worry that the older woman is in the midst of a mid-life crisis. There may also be a worry that the more experienced partner may be looking for an ego boost with some “eye candy.” Similarly, the older partner may worry that she is being used for her money.

Your Life Goals May Differ Considerably
Let’s face it: there aren’t too many 20-year-olds whose main goals in life include amassing a healthy pension, owning their own home, and reaching the very pinnacle of their profession. Similarly, there probably aren’t too many 50-somethings whose only goal is to get wasted and dance ‘til the early hours in an exclusive club. In addition, the issue of children will often drive a wedge between two women of very different ages.

Of course, there are pros and cons to think about in any type of relationship — whether it’s between a man and a woman, two men or two women. But as long as there is love and mutual respect, any relationship has a fighting chance of long-term success.


Tagg Magazine
Tagg Magazine
Tagg Magazine is a trusted digital publication for everyone lesbian, queer, and under the rainbow.