There’s an old stereotype that asserts women often arrive at college straight, if a little apathetic to dating men, before experimenting in college and realizing they are in some way queer. It’s an annoying stereotype in large part because it so often proves true. It did for me. College is where most of us first live on our own, free to explore our wants and desires in ways we may not have felt able to before.
For those of us who found that clarity in college, one of our most anticipated experiences is walking into a lesbian bar for the first time. While those who came out earlier may have joined LGBTQ+ youth groups, college-aged baby sapphics often don’t have a safe space. People assume they will turn to the bars. But in an era where the finances—and thus, survival—of lesbian bars is precarious, what, exactly, are we losing if we lose this affirming experience?
This is the question filmmaker Valentina Quintero seeks to answer with her documentary We Are Not Unicorns. A student at the Conservatory of Film at Purchase College in Westchester, NY, Quintero came up with the documentary’s concept in June 2025. As a newly out lesbian, Quintero hoped to visit her first lesbian bar to celebrate Pride Month but ended up at a gay bar instead. “I always assumed that it was synonymous to lesbian bars, I learned that it was not and there are not as many lesbian bars out there. It hit me that I didn’t feel seen in this space.” Quintero says.
Luckily, Quintero still found lesbian community that day. “My friend and I were at a taco restaurant in the village before going out and ended up in a spot full of lesbians also on their way to going out. I’ve never been somewhere [I was] more excited to be even though I wasn’t technically part of their friend group,” she says.
Lesbian spaces are critical for belonging, and Quintero was dismayed to learn that lesbian bars are so rare. “A major thing we reference in the documentary is how at the start of my project; 38 lesbian bars existed in the US, and now only 36 do,” she shares. So Quintero dove in, examining how that lack of space impacts us.
An underclasswoman in the Conservatory, Quintero tapped junior Sophia Kamensky to produce. “I was a bit vague in my ask and it has tumbled into a much deeper and beautiful journey that neither of us expected,” Quintero recalls. The two joke that Quintero roped Kamensky in with the promise of a small project that became much much larger. “Sophia has become a force in making all aspects of this documentary possible,” Quintero says.
We Are Not Unicorns tells the stories of six women, ranging in age from 18 to 72, whose experiences remind us all that lesbian bars are still crucial to community. This multi-generational focus allows viewers to look to the past and future simultaneously. Older participants provide a sacred oral history, speaking to their own experiences in lesbian bars. Conversely, the youngest participant takes viewers along on her first lesbian bar experience.
The title references a conversation with their oldest documentary participant, Amy. A former Broadway casting agent who was out in a time when few dared, Amy spoke to the caution she exercised in introducing people to her wife. “When they met people as a couple, they used to delay the fact they were together until after they became good friends with them. She said that people of her generation assumed lesbians ‘had horns,’ that they were unicorns for who they were. But that was not the case, that these women were extraordinary people in their own right, and shouldn’t be defined by their sexuality,” Quintero explains. This particular interview didn’t make it into the final cut of the documentary, but Amy’s words resonated so deeply with Quintero that she wanted to bring it to light through the title of the film.
The safety that Amy’s story references is part of what the filmmakers found so critical about maintaining physical spaces. Quintero quotes documentary subject Teresa, a bar manager at Kingston, New York’s Unicorn Bar: “While there are great online groups that help bring lesbians together, there is nothing quite like being with people in a room together and feeling the energy of queer people having a space to truly be themselves.”
We Are Not Unicorns is currently in post production. To follow along on their journey and get the latest updates, join them on Instagram.