the New Art of Capturing Love, Kat Forder Photography
The New Art of Capturing Love: How LGBTQ Couples Are Redefining the Wedding Industry
July 16, 2014
Two women walking in the city
Home & Family: Buying a Home Together
July 17, 2014

Blinders Off: 6 Signs That Your Relationship is Over

Relationships can be tricky. One minute you’re all in and calling 1-800-GO-UHAUL, and the next, you’re considering reactivating your online dating account. It happens to the best of us, so don’t be ashamed. Here are six reality checkpoints that your relationship is really over.

 

1. You are back online—not necessarily actively, but just looking, lightly

If you start to fantasize about the thousands of women out there, then, Houston, we have a problem. It’s not necessarily the action of restarting an online dating account, but the thought that’s the culprit. Grass is always greener syndrome? Maybe. But don’t waste your girl’s time if you are looking at someone else’s…grass.

 

2. You aren’t super stoked about your date nights anymore

We’re all busy. If Friday night is booked for an intimate dinner with her, but you’re dragging your feet, walking into the restaurant, then it’s time to reconsider your commitment. Making time for each other is pivotal for a strong relationship. If you’re not bringing your “sexy” to date night, then it’s time to rethink.

 

3. You now have a new wandering eye

Unless you’re in an open relationship, you shouldn’t check out the lovely legs on the treadmill next to you (again, unless you’re doing it together). Your partner should fulfill you. And, during your 20-minute lunch break, if some stranger you know nothing about is catching your eye, then it’s time for “the talk.”

 

4. You are starting to resent the time she’s taking from you

Resentment is a huge relationship killer. Carrying anger toward your partner and bottling it up—waiting for “the right time” to discuss your issues with her—never ends in a happy, lasting relationship. If you have a problem to discuss, hash it out, come to a solution, and move forward. If you can’t let it go, then there’s a deeper issue. You should call 1-800-THERAPIST and transition out of the relationship in a healthy way. Though it’s a cliché, never go to bed angry.

 

5. You stop putting her first (or semi-first)

If you have X amount of free time each week to dedicate to “personal time,” and all of a sudden, you would rather be jogging or reading a book than spending time with her, then it might be time to reflect. Yes, most people need alone time to recharge. However, if she’s now last on your to-do list of how to spend your “me time,” then move her out of the equation. Give yourself all of the personal time you want by not dating her anymore.

 

6. You don’t even care whether she gets to keep your cat in the “divorce”

Only kidding…sort of. If you’ll do anything just to end it, then end it—but do so respectfully and efficiently.

 

Meghann Novinskie and Kim Rosenberg are Dating Experts at Mixology—Matchmaking with a Twist (www.readytomix.com). Mixology is an offline personal matchmaking agency exclusively for the LGBT community, with offices in Washington, D.C., and Los Angeles, and clients around the country.

Comments

Kim Rosenberg
Kim Rosenberg
Kim Rosenberg is a professional matchmaker with Elite Private Search DC. Learn more at gayelitedates.com.