Some Alabama Same-Sex Couples Denied Marriage Licenses
February 11, 2015
February 11, 2015

Boi Problems 109: Valentine’s Day

Lesbian presenting her partner with flowers

It’s that time of year again. Valentine’s Day is a time when a boi can be sappy and emotionally expressive without getting a second look. On one hand that is freeing, on the other hand this time of year can be stressful because stereotypically bois have to meet societal expectations associated with Valentine’s Day. We are expected to plan something romantic, say something endearing, and buy something she will cherish.

So, what to do for Valentine’s Day?

I know that some women are easy to please and don’t require a Kim Kardashian extravaganza for Valentine’s Day. But is something as simple and traditional like dinner and a movie enough? To me, it seems boring and unoriginal.

I considered sending flowers or an Edible Arrangement to her workplace. However, she is not “out” to all of her co-workers, so having something delivered would spark curiosity from the nosey co-workers in her small office. I would probably force her to come out prematurely. I could see the delivery idea backfiring.

I thought about cooking for her, which I’ve done on a few prior occasions. I thought about the two of us making a meal together. Being in the kitchen together and bonding over making a meal can be romantic. That could give us time to talk as we cook, but after a long workday, she may want to relax.

What about getting her a stuffed animal? I thought that might be a cute idea. But maybe it’s just cute for kids still in elementary school and middle school. I’m not 100% sure that a grown woman wants a stuffed animal. So, I scrapped that idea.

Then it dawned on me to just keep it simple and do something tailor-made to her. She’s crazy about chocolate of all types. So, I bought her chocolates. She’s also a movie fanatic. I can name any movie and she has seen it. If the movie is a new release in theaters, she has seen it before the week is over. 50 Shades of Grey comes out a few days before V-Day and it seems to be the perfect movie for the occasion. And going to dinner versus cooking will give us time to unwind and talk. We both ranked quality time highly on Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages quiz so it makes sense.

I was back at square one.

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Ares Glenn
Ares Glenn
Ares Glenn is a masculine of center queer person of color living in the D.C. Metropolitan area. She enjoys traveling and studying the queer LGBTQ dynamics.