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If you’re familiar with the five love languages, then you probably know that they’re about communicating your physical and emotional needs inside of a relationship. But did you know that leaning into your love language during masturbation could make for a more pleasurable time between the sheets?

Outlined by author and counselor Dr. Gary Chapman, the love languages are the five primary ways that we give and receive love, and each of us is said to have one we prefer.  

The good news? You can also give that love to yourself and there’s no better time to experiment with them than during a solo sex session. Why so? Because tailoring masturbation time to your love language lets you reach new levels of physical and emotional satisfaction. 

So, once you’ve taken the online quiz and sussed out your primary love language, how do you do that?

Acts of Service

If you’re an ‘acts of service’ person, then you’re all about future-proofing: you like to do things that will benefit you in the future. That might mean sprucing up your surroundings and creating the perfect self-pleasure space or laying your sex toys out on the bed so they’re ready to go.

Even ordering a new erotic novel counts. It’s all about taking loving actions that make you feel cherished and cared for.

Quality Time

There are many ways you can mark this out as a special time, just for you. You could dim the lights and light a scented candle, put fresh sheets on the bed, and stick your phone on airplane mode so you aren’t distracted.

Another way to fully immerse yourself in the moment? Make it something to look forward to. Pop it on the calendar and carve out time for it in the same way you would for a lover or a friend. Oh, and maybe hang a “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door while you’re at it.

Physical Touch

We know what you’re thinking: masturbation and physical touch are kind of a package deal, but you can elevate the experience by becoming more aware of your touch.

Pay attention to the sensations, mindfully touch different areas of your body, and explore yourself in ways that are outside of your usual routine.

It’s a good idea to leave the most sensitive areas of your body, like your genitals, to last, and instead focus your touch on the areas of your body that are often neglected.

Receiving Gifts

If receiving gifts is your primary love language, it’s time to make “treat yo’self” your new solo time motto and some sexy new underwear might just be the perfect gift. The best part? They’re for your eyes only, so buy whatever makes you feel sexiest.

If your underwear drawer is fully stocked, head to the sex toy section or even treat yourself to some luxurious new lube. Packaging these gifts and unwrapping them before you masturbate can elevate the experience.

Words of Affirmation

Loving our bodies – and ourselves – isn’t always easy, but if words of affirmation is your primary love language, telling yourself exactly what you need to hear can pay dividends.

You could strip down, look at yourself in the mirror, and begin complimenting different aspects of your body. Or, if praising yourself out loud feels a little cringe, consider writing it down. 

Grab pen and paper and either jot down a list of things you like about yourself or write yourself a sexy story.

Keep your notebook close to your bed and pull it out anytime you’re in the mood for some self-love. 




Victoria Stokes
Victoria Stokes
Victoria Stokes is a writer and editor based in the UK who mostly writes about mental health, emotional wellbeing, and relationships. She counts non-fiction, espresso martinis and the color pink among her favorite things.