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Dating, But Not Relating?

How to go from the first date to a second…and beyond

Many would agree that online social networks, smartphone apps, matchmakers, meetups, and setups have made it easier to get a first date. But when you’re ready for a relationship, going on first date after first date can be exasperating.

If you’re tired of riding that particular merry-go-round, then here are five tips to help you go from the first date to a second…and beyond.

 

1. Don’t talk about exes

There is nothing worse than being on a first date, getting a little nervous, and then talking about your ex for 30 minutes because it’s your common ground. Even if you have amazing friendships with all of your exes, sharing those memories is not appropriate. Ex talk comes much later—if at all. Note that if you are not over your ex, then you should not be dating, period!

 

2. Be honest

Lying about your age or posting an outdated picture online might still result in a first date. But, once the two of you meet, face to face, there are likely to be some awkward moments. Fibbing at the start of a relationship will get you nowhere. Would you want to go on a second date—or be in a relationship—with someone who is deceitful?

 

3. Remember your manners

Most mature singles value the basics: someone who takes pride in her appearance and practices common courtesy. Spend some time researching the place where you are meeting your date to make sure that you are dressed appropriately. And, if you’re running more than five minutes late, then be polite and call her or contact the venue. In addition, be prepared and bring your wallet. Going dutch may be old-fashioned, but it shows that you have the ability to invest in a relationship. The phrase “Next time, I’ll treat you” can only apply if there will, indeed, be a second date.

 

4. Don’t be overly flirty or ask her back to your place

Be respectful. Casual flirting is fine, but make sure to “feel out,” not “feel up,” your date. If you want a second date and sense that she has potential, then let the chemistry continue to build until you see each other a few more times.

 

5. Consider your lifestyle and life stage when choosing someone to date

When you are dating as an adult, it is important that your lifestyles and life stages mesh. If one of you is more stable than the other—for example, financially or emotionally—then reevaluate whether this person is right for you. Be proactive about dating by being a bit picky: Make sure that she meets your expectations, has the same core values, wants the same things in life, and has a similar lifestyle. No need to settle for someone who isn’t compatible.

 

Ready for a Rendezvous?

If you’re serious about finding a lasting relationship, then be proactive and date strategically. If you’re fresh to the dating scene, then meet lots of different people to help you decide what qualities will maintain your interest for the long term. Be transparent with your dates, as well; be clear about your intentions in meeting them. Going from date number one to your second date and beyond can take a bit of work, but it shouldn’t be overly challenging. Be true to yourself, follow these simple tips, and you’ll be on your way to a relationship.

Happy dating!

 

Meghann Novinskie and Kim Rosenberg are Dating Experts at MixologyMatchmaking With a Twist (www.readytomix.com). Mixology is an offline personal matchmaking agency exclusively for the LGBT community, with offices in Washington, D.C., and Los Angeles, and clients around the country.

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Kim Rosenberg
Kim Rosenberg
Kim Rosenberg is a professional matchmaker with Elite Private Search DC. Learn more at gayelitedates.com.