Ever been on a date with someone, and she says something that makes you totally cringe and all the hair stands up on your arm with embarrassment or general, “did she REALLY just say that?” Yes, Tagg fans, there are rules on what you definitely should not say on a date.
First, let’s make a quick clarification on the list below. These are what not to say on a first date, or beginning stages of dating someone new. Down the road, some of these topics are totally game, but early on, avoid these like the plague!
1. My ex was a _____. Listen, she has them and you have them. Sometimes we gravitate towards chatting about Ms. Wrong on a date because, well who doesn’t have an (crazy) ex girlfriend? On first dates, we naturally search for a common thread to keep the conversation two sided. Remember, she doesn’t want/need to know your dating history or your number of past partners right off the bat (even if they were all really nice).
2. It’s all about the money, honey! Actually, it should never be about money early on. If you use bags of money as pillows at night, hold back on mentioning it. If your rent is late for the fourth month in a row, keep it to yourself (and only go on coffee dates). We’re not suggesting you fib, we just believe that getting to know a new potential partner shouldn’t involve disclosing how many digits are on your paycheck.
3. Top or bottom? YIIIIIIIIKES. This made the list because we were shocked when a client told us she was asked this on a first date recently. We were desperate to get it out there that this SHOULD NEVER be asked – especially on dates one through… infinity. (Don’t you want to “anticipate” rather than “expect” the first time you get naked?)
4. My family is crazy/disowned me. Everyone has family, so this might be a “go-to” when you’re reaching for something to chat about. However, avoid ANY kind of negative talk on a first (and then some) date. Even if your family has been on your shit list since the 80’s, leave them out of the conversation. Keep it light, positive, and don’t say anything you can’t say with a smile.
5. Do you have U-Haul on speed dial? No matter how well the date is going – don’t even make a joke about calling your favorite 1-800 number / getting cats / sharing rent. Even the fastest moving lesbian relationships can get tainted if one person suggests going to Ikea on the second date (trust us – we know). Relax! Suggestive jokes can be eek, scary.
We were only allowed to list the top five date killers – so here’s a quick list of numbers 6 – 10.
6. I have more than 6 cats.
7. I have *this much hair* south of my bellybutton.
8. I masturbate X number of times a day/week/month.
9. I own a (insert name of sex toy) – my ex loved it.
10. Wow, I used to get AROUND when I was younger!
Meghann Novinskie and Kim Rosenberg are Dating Experts at Mixology—Matchmaking With a Twist (www.ReadyToMix.com). Mixology is an offline personal matchmaking agency exclusively for the LGBT community, with offices in Washington, D.C., and Los Angeles and clients around the country.