Out Psychic Medium Kate Cadoré is on the Case
October 29, 2013
woman crying with her hands on her face
My Story of Domestic Abuse
October 29, 2013

Femme Problems 102: Sorry, but I Believe in Dating

Two girls laugh together on stone steps on a date.

(Photo by Anna Selle)

How many times have you found yourself in this situation: you go out to Phase, Cobalt, or Nellie’s, meet a really cute girl, and by the end of the night she asks for your number and you’re texting all week. But, by the time you can set a date, your longstanding crush– who never gave you the time of day before–texts you and invites you out.

Before you know it, you’re dating two girls, and that’s okay. You’re a strong, confident female. You’re allowed to date more than one woman. After all, that’s why you haven’t fallen head first into the jello pit of holy matrimony, right?

In a perfect world, mature, confident women would be able to date more than one person with the judgment, drama, and emotional roller coaster that most tend to strap themselves in after the first text exchange. It has been my experience that most women I have met just simply can’t handle dating.

Maybe it’s society’s double-standard of male-female behavior. Maybe it’s our inherent insecurity, fear, or jealousy. Perhaps we simply aren’t in control of our emotions. Whatever the reason, I just can’t accept that it’s okay for men to date more than one woman, but we women have to nest with the first birdie to awkwardly cluck down our path?

I found myself in a situation recently where I was unintentionally dating two women. Each one was wonderful, carrying her own unique set of personal and professional values that simply could not be overlooked. I enjoyed the wit and intellect of one, while I enjoyed the sexual and romantic chemistry of another. I was open and honest with both of them, but found that the entire situation was more drama than what the production was worth. In the end, I find myself alone on stage, delivering a monologue such as this.

What is wrong with dipping a toe or two in before diving head first into the commitment pool?

Sorry, but I believe in dating. As in, you ask me out and I go out with you, and then because I’m not your girlfriend someone else asks me out and I get to go out with her too.

Successful dating is a mindset. A mindset that includes turning to various channels, like career, social life, and friends, and being secure enough to know that those channels are more than enough to fulfill your mind, heart, and soul. Believe me ladies: there is more value to your life than who you spend it with.

And that’s not to negate the many wonders that relationships can bring. I’ve had incredible connections with women that have fulfilled me and catapulted me into that dream of 2.5 children and a dream house in the suburbs; however, until I find a woman who can stimulate me both mentally and physically, I don’t plan to don a bright shiny diamond platinum ring anytime soon.

There is nothing wrong with dating. Test the waters and see what’s out there. After all, according to popular myth, don’t we femmes hold all the cards anyways?


<< Femme Problems 101: What to Wear || Femme Problems 103: Things I Never Thought I’d Try >>