Helen Fausnaught - Swell Tiki Bar
Swell Tiki Bar & Grill: The Restoration and Rebirth
August 10, 2016
Chef Tyonne Johns
Video: The Story of Chef Tyonne Johns’ Tragic Death
August 15, 2016

Who’s the One For You?

Two girls kissing

When you first start dating someone, it’s exciting and there’s usually a lot of lust and passion involved; it’s a heady rush of feelings and emotions. But in the back of your mind, even if you don’t actually voice it, you’ll probably be wondering where will this lead. Is this the one for me?

The truth is that nobody can be certain in the early days of a relationship where it’s going to lead. How do you know what you want, and how does the person you’re into know? It takes time to figure out if someone is ‘right’ for you, and vice versa.

There are lots of different factors that come into play.

Compatibility is something we all talk about seeking in a relationship, and it can cover a wide range of factors. For example, are you sexually compatible? If there’s no spark in the bedroom at the beginning of a relationship, then you have to wonder what kind of long-term potential the relationship has.

But compatibility can also be just the simple ability to get along with each other. As you get to know a person, do you find that you have a relaxed and easy time together, or are there lots of friction points? Do you clash over where you’re going to go out, which friends you’re going to spend time with, or does it all just flow naturally and easily?

Whether or not you’re a believer in astrology, it’s interesting to note how often people actually demonstrate certain character aspects that are linked with their star signs.  For instance, a typical Cancer woman is often focused on home and her family, be that her blood relations or the family she creates around her own life. An Aries woman, on the other hand, is confident and independent and sometimes enjoys the chase of relationships more than the settling down part. However, she can also become totally besotted by a partner, and then will be absolutely into that relationship. In the early days of a relationship, you might want to check out your astrological compatibility with your new partner. A quick search online will bring up your star sign’s best potential matches in love, and those star signs you might not want to even begin consider dating because of the fireworks that might follow! Traditionally, these compatibility charts used to be heterosexually-based, but today you can find just as many for gay and lesbian relationships too.

While good compatibility is a given when it comes to long-lasting relationships, another thing that you need to think about is your overall philosophy on life, your basic values and principles. If you and your partner differ too much in these areas, it doesn’t necessarily mean that your relationship is doomed, but it’s not going to be easy. Some people thrive on a relationship that’s full of debate and discussion, but others might find that it gradually wears away at the core of the partnership, and that they end up going their separate ways.

What makes a good relationship isn’t just about you and your partner; there are also your wider social circles to consider. Do you like each other’s friends? Do you want to spend time with their friends or do you avoid them? You don’t have to like everyone they do, but between you, you’re going to have to have some friends in common, or else be happy spending all your socializing time apart.

The truth is that there is no magic formula to finding the one for you. And for the majority of us, there will be plenty of trial runs at finding true love that lead us to a dead end and we’ll have to start again. As long as you remain true to yourself, and are always honest about your feelings, one day you’ll suddenly discover you’re in the right relationship!